Marriage is a union between a man and a woman, and it also requires finances or money to run. Not only do you need the finances for your subsistence, but also for your well-being. You can’t make substantial progress in your marriage without money, hence the need to be a financially independent man and woman before and in marriage as well.
As an individual, being financially independent should be your utmost goal. When a man and woman are financially independent, the financial burden of the home becomes lighter to bear. Strive to have a means of income to support yourself and your family.
Financial resources also known as currency flows with time. Life is time and time is life. Time and finances go hand in hand. So, ensure you choose a spouse you can trust with your life (time, heart and finances).
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Being financially independent in marriage means being collaborative! There should be no room or basis for comparison. Remember, two are better than one. Having a financially independent spouse should be a plus and not a minus or a threat to ego or personality!
Also, that you are financially independent in a marriage doesn’t mean you should be reckless with your spending — “after all you earn or work for it”. NO! You should be accountable to yourself and your spouse at all times. For example, don’t make any pledge without agreeing with your spouse no matter what.
Don’t marry someone you cannot trust with your finances. If you don’t have the same philosophy concerning money, you might just have to part ways to avoid serious problems sooner than later down the lane. You don’t want a situation where one person is working hard enough to save, while the other person prefers squandering the resources gathered.
There is peace at home when the bed shakes regularly (Chinua Achebe), and also when there is a financial agreement. There are bound to be disagreements, relationship breakdown, divorce and even domestic violence leading to death when financial agreement and lovemaking are absent in a home.
Some of the areas to guard your independency as an individual and as a couple include but are not limited to the following points below.
"When a man and woman are financially independent, the financial burden of the home becomes lighter to bear."
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#1. Financial agreement
In marriage, you need to be in agreement with your spouse always. What is the essence of being married if you cannot agree on anything? Agreement in several areas of your life also involves your finances. Be in financial agreement with your spouse.
When you work in agreement with your spouse on other areas of your life, the financial agreement simply follows suit. You will hardly make any financial move without your spouse knowing.
"Being financially independent in a marriage doesn’t mean you should be reckless with your spending"
Someone once told me that he and his wife cannot surprise each other since they know all their income and agree on something before, they eventually get it done. So, surprises are not their thing. This character of theirs sums up the word alignment. A wheel that is not aligned will surely cause problems.
Take for instance you buy a property or stash up cash without the knowledge of your spouse, what will become of those things when you are gone? Be in financial agreement with your spouse. It’s essential.
The question now is: why should you make financial transactions without the knowledge of your spouse? Reason it and see the nothingness in such.
#2. Giving/charity/donations agreement
Giving/Charity/donations are all good ventures, but this shouldn’t be done without the knowledge of your spouse. This is not about taking permission before you spend your hard-earned money, but about notification!
Even if you earn more or less than your spouse, notify them of your actions, and most importantly, agree before you act. Yes, some donations can happen at the spur of the moment, but endeavour to notify your spouse afterwards.
Working in a financial agreement with your spouse doesn’t take away your individuality, you are only functioning as a couple who are accountable to each other. Except you choose to handle your finances solely without your spouse’s input, and he or she knows this as well. But, at Dazzling Insights, we encourage couples to be very transparent with each other.
#3. Investment agreement
A family’s financial situation can change for good through investments. Have an investment agreement with your spouse. Marriage is all about togetherness and your marriage cannot work if you don’t agree with your spouse.
Have a meeting with your spouse, agree on investment opportunities before you both and work together as a couple to make it a reality.
Family is everything! Cherish your family and work together with your spouse. When it comes to family investments, go for what makes sense to both of you. Know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and leverage your strengths.