Family is a delicate institution that needs not be joked with. It’s in the nature of humans to think that they are worse off, especially when hearing of or seeing other peoples’ performances and, in this case, families. Thinking that the grass is greener in other families can lead to serious issues in a family.
The answer to the question that this topic posed to us is a capital NO! The grass is not always greener on the other side or in other families. They may appear so but are certainly not greener. So don’t destroy your family due to your perceived notion. What you are seeing might end up being a mirage.
Some families have been shattered, and some marital relationships went sour on the illusion that other families around the corner are doing better. This really needs to stop. Even if you think you know the other family really well, you are not them. So embrace yours and make it what you want it to be. And, of course, this might take a little time.
The tendency to want to be like other families sometimes comes from a need that is usually not met in your family. It is okay to be lacking in some things. This should only serve as a motivation to improve in such an area than to start comparing your family to others.
Here are ways you can call yourself back when your attention drifts toward an unhealthy comparison of your family with that of others.
#1. Appreciate your family
When you start seeing some things in other families that you desire to be in yours, the tendency to lose the appreciation you initially had for your family is already there. Of course, there is nothing wrong in admiring some attributes you see in other homes, but let it be what it is —admiration and nothing more.
Always appreciate your family. Be eternally grateful for what you have —your family. So many people desire to have families but are still single. So, appreciate your family irrespective of your differences and the things you might be lacking at the moment. With time, continuous productivity and patience, you will certainly reach your goals as a family.
Remember, what you appreciate increases. It is just like giving thanks. What you are thankful for yields more increase to you. Appreciate your family, whether rich, poor or middle class.
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#2. Never compare your family to others
Unhealthy comparison rubs you off of so many things. You will not see anything good again in your family when you start to compare your family with others. Please, strip yourself of any pressure or attitude that can land you in the position of unhealthy comparison. Never compare your family to others. Every family is unique with its own woes and wins. Face yours.
Social media craze and unnecessary show-offs have impacted a lot of families negatively. You saw pictures of a family you know in the Bahamas for a holiday, and you want to go there too so as to put up pictures and prove a point that doesn’t even exist! Don’t stress out your family for nothing. If you cannot afford it, be extremely contented and happy with what you have and in your own skin.
Live a simple life. Flow naturally in your family, behaviour and dealings with other people. ...for they that compare themselves with others are not wise (The Holy Bible, 2 Corinthians 10:12).
#3. Focus on improving your family
Let your focus be on working legally hard to improve your family’s situation. Legally here means doing legit things and not cutting corners of any sort to improve your family’s standard of living.
Again, when you admire some attributes in other families, instead of tongue-lashing or rubbishing your family over such, focus on improving your family’s situation.
Remember, things don’t change by merely wishing them away, they change by consistent productivity in the right direction. Whatever it is that you desire or admire for your family, discuss it with your spouse and agree on the progressive way to achieve it. Involve your children in the good change that pertains to them too.
There is something about focus and humanity. You can achieve anything you set your mind to. Use that God-given positive energy right to improve your family.
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#4. Learn from other families but don’t envy them
It is very normal and good to have admiration for some attributes you see in other families. However, take the next step to learn from them rather than envying them. As a matter of fact, we learn from each other every day until we die. That is life in a nutshell.
You can always learn from other families without envying them. For example, if it is a meal they served you, ask for the recipe. If it is their children that are doing well at school, ask for their method of raising their children and how they are supporting their academics. If it is their house that looks so beautiful and you admire it, ask for how much it costs, and please don’t be scared of the amount. Remember, it is just numbers, and you too can have such if you set your mind on it and work legitimately towards it.
There is so much power in believing that you can. When you do not relent, you will most certainly get there. It will only take time, and while you are at it, be happy and continue to learn. Remember the story of the rich dad poor dad, Robert Kiyosaki fixed his mind to become rich like his rich dad, and with time and consistency, he got there.
Learn from other families but don’t envy them.
"Remember, things don’t change by merely wishing them away, they change by consistent productivity in the right direction. Whatever it is that you desire or admire for your family, ..."
#5. Guard your family
You need to guard your family with all you have got! Family is everything. Note, it is not everyone that is happy that you have a spouse and, more so, children —some desire to be in your position. So, without apologies, guard your family.
Be mindful of who and what you listen to. Don’t let your mind be manipulated by people who don’t care about your family. Don’t give room for certain things in your home.
When you notice some changes in your spouse or children, immediately swing into action and call him/her back to order. You can’t afford to leave your spouse or children to be perverse. So lovingly calling them back to order is a way of you safeguarding your home.
Don’t let other family’s show-off define how you run yours. Get back or stick to your family’s manual.
Guard your family from peer pressure, perverse societal influences and from hitting the rock due to lack of understanding and contentment.
One might be tempted to think that the grass is greener on the other side, but it is usually not so. Your family is a gift you were given to nurture and cherish. So please don’t let anything disintegrate your family.
Handle your family with care and passion. It is all that really matters. When you are stripped of everything, it is your family and perhaps a few friends that will still be there. The grass is not greener in other families. Water and nourish yours to be continually green.
Let’s continue to dazzle while being there for our families!