When I was 14 years old, our neighbour’s domestic helper, who was also a teenager, got impregnated by her young lover. It was a difficult time for both her and her young lover, but she made a sound decision that got me teary then. When I asked her why she got herself into such a situation, with tears running down her cheeks, she said to me, “I regret my actions, and if I could take back the hands of time, I wouldn’t do what I did”.
Apparently, her young lover and other people advised her to abort the baby, but she declined the thoughts and advice. She said, “it wasn’t the baby’s fault, and also, the baby didn’t do her any wrong”. She was determined to keep her baby, no matter what! What was certain to her was that they will face some challenges but she remained positive.
In no time, she was sent packing back to her indigent parents living in a rural area. Eleven years later, I bumped into her and couldn’t believe my eyes. She looked so beautiful. We decided to have a good chat in an eatery nearby to catch up on our lives’ events. I learnt about all that she went through, but thank God for helping her pull through them all.
Her ten-year-old son was doing well and living with her parents while she went back to school to follow her dream of getting a degree in medical sciences. She was so grateful that she kept her baby.
My talks and discussions with some teenagers, elderly people, singles (unmarried people) and, of course, the young lady above on the controversial issues of sex, pregnancy and abortion birthed this article.
Teenagers are often faced with the decision to either abort an unwanted pregnancy or to keep the baby. The truth is, with peer pressure and youthful exuberance, some teenagers engage in sex without thinking through their actions and the repercussions thereafter.
As a teenager, you have no business engaging in sex. Your top priority should be to focus on becoming the best form of yourself by channelling your energy to your gifts, talents and career in view.
In case anyone hasn’t explained it better to you, everything has its time, and also there are consequences to every action one takes. Sex is one of those things that, if engaged in at the wrong timing and context, can throw one off balance.
Sexually transmitted diseases, delayed progress in your career pursuits due to unplanned pregnancy, and others are all parts of the repercussions of having sex.
So, now you have made a mistake, and you are pregnant at a young age. Suddenly, different thoughts and emotions have filled your heart. You are sober, remorseful, confused and clueless about what to do next. Perhaps having an abortion has also crossed your mind, or some friends or family might have suggested so. By this article, I want to suggest and reassure you that you can keep that baby.
Yes, it can be a daunting task to raise a child as a teenager (especially from an indigent home), but it is not an impossible task. People before you have done it, and of course, people after you will also decide to keep their babies. So, you are not the only one and will undoubtedly not be the last.
This is not just an admonition to teenagers alone, it also applies to adults who happen to have an unplanned pregnancy.
Here are some of the reasons you need to keep that baby.
#1. It is a human life, please don’t shed that blood
It is important that you view your pregnancy as a human life developing inside you. Please never see it as a “thing” but as life. Life starts from conception, not when a baby is born.
With this understanding, you wouldn’t want to shed that blood! It’s like committing premeditated murder. I don’t know what your beliefs are, but as a Christian, I know that God hates the shedding of innocent blood.
It is better to keep that baby than to abort it. Yes, keeping the baby comes with a huge responsibility that parenting entails, but it is morally and ethically better than shedding that innocent blood.
You might think that aborting that baby will make you continue to look “innocent”, but that’s all a lie. The truth is: you are not. You can only fool your parents and other people for a short while. Remember, every decision and action you take has its consequences. You will face them at some point in your life.
Please, consider keeping that baby than terminating or killing him/her through an abortion.
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#2. You never can tell the future
Yes, you never can tell the future. Children are blessings from God, and as such, should be handled with love, care and dignity.
You never can tell who that child will turn out to be in the future. Let your focus and that of your parents be to raise that child to become the best form of himself or herself. Also, help the child not to repeat the mistake you made at that stage of your life by being truthful and real during conversations.
This life is full of mysteries, and as such, you never can tell the future of your child. Endure the inconveniences now, and keep your baby. You are most certainly going to look back and be glad that you gave your baby a chance at life.
#3. You will learn some invaluable lessons
One thing about mistakes is that we learn from them and move on with those invaluable lessons learnt.
As a teenager, you will certainly learn what parenting, sacrifice, discipline, self-control, and other similar virtues are about (probably quite early in life). You are likely to have further respect for your parents too.
Please, endeavour not to make this sort of mistake again. This once is more than enough. Repetition of this mistake is tantamount to stupidity, and you, as a female, is always the one to pay more price. Be wise and learn from it.
The hype around sex or your feelings shouldn’t make you fall for anyone again until you are ready for a proper relationship, especially such that will lead to marriage.
Have self-control, be in-charge of yourself and your well-being, and learn some invaluable lessons from your mistake.
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#4. Your life purpose might be connected to it
Some things in life happen for a reason. Yes, you are the one who got yourself burned by becoming pregnant at an early age, but this obvious mistake might be connected to your purpose (destiny) in life.
Pastor Sarah Jakes-Roberts in one of her sermons, said, “maybe God needed her to understand the depth of her assignment and purpose through her teenage pregnancy”.
At the moment, all hell might be breaking loose, and you are so confused about life and the actions to take. Please take a moment, breathe and summon the courage to face your challenges by first deciding to keep the baby. Every other thing will fall into place.
"Sex is one of those things that, if engaged in at the wrong timing and context, can throw one off balance."
#5. Your life and decision will inspire that child and others later
Your decision to keep your baby by not aborting that pregnancy will inspire some people around you.
At some point, your child will have a good understanding of all that transpired, and will be super grateful that you kept him or her.
We are all here to inspire each other. So, when you courageously go through teenage pregnancy, kept the baby, and raised him or her, you will, directly or indirectly, inspire people to avoid unnecessary abortion.
#6. Help will come to you in one form or the other
You can seek early parenting support. Plead with your parents and other family members to support you through the journey. Also, seek other organisations that support teenagers who keep their babies.
One woman I know took in a teenage girl and took good care of her and her daughter for some years. Now, both the teenage girl and her daughter are married and are also doing well in their chosen careers.
You never can tell the level of support you’ll get until you try.
This article does not in any way encourage sex and teenage pregnancy; it only encourages young girls willing to keep their babies to do so.
Going through pregnancy, childbirth and nursing a baby is not an easy task. That is why I am a strong advocate of abstinence from sex until one is married and ready to raise a family.
But in life, things don’t always work out straight-forward; they bend sometimes. And when they do, don’t take short cuts but rather take responsibility and face the situation, and in this case —YOU CAN KEEP THAT BABY!
Are there other reasons you think people should keep their babies instead of aborting them? Please leave your thoughts in the comments section. Thank you. Let’s keep dazzling in our lives, families, relationships and raising children.