Life is full of ups and downs, and going through it alone, can be very frightening sometimes. Therefore, it is no news that surrounding yourself with the right people is incredibly helpful. Choosing your circle of friends, partners, or that one person that you want to spend the rest of your life with come rain or shine, can be an extremely challenging task.
We live in a society where most people show the side that they want others to see. A clear case is how people portray their lives on social media. It is rare to find people posting selfies when they are hard-hit or battered by life. In a world where phoney and fake lifestyles are the order of the day, choosing the right people for your life’s journey is more relevant than ever.
In order to surround yourself with genuine people that truly care for you, first, you need to be an ‘authentic’ person yourself. Being authentic or real means being yourself despite who is looking or not looking in your direction. I cannot overstate that you are most likely to attract yourself. Therefore, be a genuine person to attract such people into your life. With this fact established, now let’s get into further details. If you are confused about who to choose, from your list of right matches, here are a few things you can do to ascertain the people you would want in your circle.
1. Go for integrity (realness) as a great virtue
Everyone needs that one person that keeps to his/her words. Or better still, a person that walks the talk. ‘Integrity’ borders around these descriptions, hence, it is a crucial character test. When you meet an honest person, who is not ready to sugar-coat anything for you but rather says things as they are, please cherish such a person and do not take him/her for granted. This attribute doesn’t come cheap. It’s an expensive and deep-rooted virtue that always commands respect.
When you meet a person of integrity, it behoves on you to also commit yourself to build your integrity. With this in mind and practice, your relationship will flourish. How do I know a reliable person? I got your question, but I am sorry to disappoint you, there is no a, b, c answer. It is time and events that reveal a reliable person. Integrity as a virtue is exposed when the going gets tough. Watch out for who is there when all hell is breaking loose in your life and career. Keep your eyes down and pay attention to details in the early stage of your relationships.
2. Ask yourself - how far can this person go with me?
Time is a beautiful phenomenon that reveals a person’s true self and strength. Some people can be nice, pretty/handsome, caring, but might not be reliable. When the going is good, people tend to be in their best behaviour so that they can be chosen. You don’t want to choose someone who would leave or abandon you when you face challenges in life. It is the time that you need their love and unwavering care the most. You want to choose someone that would be readily available during your tough times. So, you want to be sure that they would be there for you.
If you can’t rely on them to help you through your hard times by being there for you, then you should reconsider such people. You can check if they are reliable by staging a ‘pretence test’ to figure out their true nature. Depending on situations that you find yourself, people’s personality and values can be good indicators from the onset of your relationship. People who are after good character are most likely to be there for you at all times than people who are driven by ‘stuff’.
Again, someone who is ready to start with you when you don’t have anything should be considered than those who are just there for the good times. For instance, imagine yourself losing all your possessions or sick, would your chosen person(s) still be by your side? Can they stand the test of time when life happens? These are some of the questions you need to answer yourself before making your choices. Anybody who is moved by a little disruption in your life is not worth your energy.
3. Check if they share your passion
A person who shares or understands your passion is most likely going to stick with you to the end. People who care enough to see you become the best and highest form of you should be the ones that you should consider. Not only will such people be there for you at all times, but they will do whatever it takes for you to achieve your dreams. People who do not share in your interests should be kept in their place. Note: They might be good for other aspects of your life, so don’t disconnect from them just yet. Having this understanding is crucial for life relationships.
Most times, the nudge that you need to succeed in your life pursuits comes from the people who share in your passion. It is one thing for someone to believe in you, but it’s another thing for them to give you the needed push to where you are going in life. Now, ask yourself if he/she shares in your passion. Do you get inspired when you share your interests with them? Good friends, couples or partners, most times, share the same ideologies and work together for their future.
4. Consider how you are treated by the person
It is when you face some challenges in life that you discover the persons that truly care about you. I know it can be frustrating to care about some people who are not reciprocating your gesture. How people treat you can give you a clear indication if they are really into you or not. Being someone’s priority is an honour you should not look down on. It means they respect and value you. They are also on standby when you need them.
Having people that you can count on when you are going through life, is an immeasurable blessing worth holding dear to. You should be able to tell the gold-diggers from the ones that are the real gold themselves by their characters and deeds. When you find people that meet your criteria, please treat them well and no matter what you do, do not lose them because such people are not many in our world today.
I wish you all the best in your search and ultimately, your decision-making on who you choose as friends or partners. I hope you meet the right people for your life’s journey.
Please let me know your opinions and insights in the comment section. And of course, do not hesitate to share this post on your social media platforms. Let’s dazzle together!
Thank you very much for this beautiful piece. I am at a time of choosing my business partners, and your thoughts on valuing integrity are very useful to me. Keep doing the great work that you are doing.
Thank you McCrystal for your comment. We hope you find the right partners for your business.