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Domestic violence is an issue that anyone in a relationship (of any kind) should not wish to experience, and I dare to say that no one should mete it out to another person. I dare to also submit to you that real human beings do not victimise others—it is a great sign of weakness on the part of the abuser.

It is a fact that most victims of domestic violence often tolerate it and hope that it won’t happen again or that it’s just a one-off thing, but only to realise that it is never-ending. Oftentimes, victims of domestic violence and the abusers usually hide this problem from friends, other family members, colleagues, and sometimes they even live in denial.

In my previous article on this subject, I listed a couple of facts that everyone should know about domestic violence. First, I would counsel anybody not to welcome, tolerate or condone any form of domestic violence, no matter the type of relationship that one is in.

There are many dangers of domestic violence that should make anyone reject, run away from and condemn it. Here are some of the reasons you should not abuse anyone or take the abuse of any kind from anybody.

#1. Self-worth can be destroyed

Domestic violence destroys self-worth and confidence. Victims usually grow with a stigma that needs to be healed, and this stigma affects the most important aspect of their being —the mind (or psyche). It is in your mind that you process your self-confidence and self-worth. When someone is a victim of abuse of any kind, they tend to withdraw, worry, and develop an inferiority complex.

You might feel that it is not impacting you, but sooner or later, you will realise that it is far-damaging than what you thought. Please do whatever it takes to avoid being a victim of domestic violence. The begging question is, how can I avoid being a victim of domestic violence? Watch out for a post on this topic soon. For now, follow our relationship series on this blog to learn how you may build an effective relationship.

#2. Respect and human dignity are ignored

Oftentimes, domestic violence is accompanied by a lack of respect and dignity for humans. The victims usually suffer a certain level of disrespect and are treated like less humans.

In fact, there is nothing dignifying about domestic violence/abuse. Therefore, refrain from it. Now to the abusers, please help me to answer the following questions - what do you gain from abusing someone else? Would you like to be treated in such a manner? If you think you will like to be treated that way – then I think you DEFINITELY need help. Stop abusing another human being; there is no respect and dignity in doing so.

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#3. Mental health and social behaviour can be affected

Mental health is not something anyone should take for granted. It does not mean until one gets completely insane—rather, it includes not having stable mental well-being. Domestic violence can trigger and aggravate the mental health of its victims. In my candid opinion, ‘the abuser’ already has a mental health crisis because ain’t no normal human being that abuses.

The social behaviour of both the abuser and the victim are also affected to various degrees. This is really crucial because if you are a parent, this might have negative impacts on your children and the people that you live with.

#4. It can affect the victim’s career

The success of anyone’s career is inseparable from the total well-being of the person. Therefore, when one encounters a domestic problem, the person will certainly not do well in his/her career.

You need your mind to work and to progress. If anything damaging happens to it, you will definitely not be your best self. So, avoid domestic violence – don’t give and don’t condone it either!

#5. The victim’s life can be in danger

Domestic violence can take various dimensions, and the last straw is death. There are many people that have died as a result of domestic violence directly or indirectly. The lives of both the victim and the abuser are in danger.

Take, for instance, if hitting and beating or excessive expression of frustration/anger, which can cause bodily harm, is involved, there is a tendency that things can go really far. Life-threatening injuries or even gunshots can be involved. One should be careful of being in such a situation. Do not entertain or befriend domestic violence.

"Don’t let another man or woman take your life from you by stealing your time in a damaging relationship"

#6. Children, friends, and other members of the family can be negatively affected

This is a point that you should be very careful about if you love your children, friends and other family members. Domestic violence does not just impact or affect you but your loved ones— your children, family members and friends. Please if you love your family, guard them against domestic violence.

How can my family be impacted by domestic violence? I am glad you asked. There are a thousand and one ways that your family can be affected. These range from negative attitudinal influence, emotional and psychological damages, negative economic impact to incommunicado.

Domestic violence can also impact on your health and the health of your loved ones. For example, these health impacts may include effects on the brain, neuroendocrine system, and immune response (Rivara et al. 2019).

#7. It can lead to long-lasting negative changes

Domestic violence can result in a long-lasting negative impact on the victim and the abuser, for example, trauma (post-traumatic stress disorder), anxiety, depression and may even lead to suicide contemplations. These negative changes can transcend from physical to psychological issues. It is advised to avoid domestic violence at all costs in order not to get caught up in such problems.

"One obvious challenge that I think contributes to the late diagnosis of domestic violence is that people do not really understand what domestic violence is all about."

#8. Time and resources lost in such relationships cannot be regained

Time and resources invested in domestic violence-prone relationships can be lost without anything to show for it but trauma and negative impacts.

Value the time and resources that you invest in your relationships. Time is life, and you don’t want to invest it wrongly or without wits. Don’t let another man or woman take your life from you by stealing your time in a damaging relationship.

If you are still abusing someone, you need an urgent mental check; you don’t deserve to be in any relationship, until you fix yourself and are stable.

I hope that these reasons will convince you to seek timely help and a solution. Let’s dazzle together in our families.

PS: If you are going through domestic violence in any country, you can get help through a contact via this link. Please don't be silent or tolerate domestic violence!